Thursday, February 16, 2006

911 situation

Everyday when I get up, the first thing that pops up in my mind is the spectrum of terror alert. It has been blinking yellow, keeping me on guard at an elevated risk for sometime now. It’s a very precarious position, being in the middle not knowing when it will shoot up. I go about with an air of optimism, praying to myself today will not be the D-day. But as the ruthless time, to which I am always a prey, ticks to unfold a new day, my shriveling optimism gives way to heightened anxiety. With palpitating heart and trembling hands, I slowly open my closet to take a peek at the compartment of the “hour” WWHHHAAANNNGGG!!!!!!!!!. It’s an emergency. Red Alert. No jockeys for the day.

Immediately my brain starts to churn out various permutations and combinations, I start to rummage my entire closet. My desperation drives me to this futile exercise of finding a pie in the sky. Emergency has its own way of striking me. It just waits for its moment and springs on me entirely out of the blue. It couldn’t get much better today with my group meeting presentation within an hour. So going to the laundry or manual labor is ruled out.

I bid my time by taking a time out in the shower, where I am really creative, trying hard, how not to succumb to the situation. Minutes fly by, I am in the last leg of my purging, still no way out. Finally I decided to take the Hobson’s choice of confining my BOYS with a good track record (in my case, the least stinker).

So I turn my vision to the laundry basket. I never treated it with respect, always casting a disdainful look, trotting by with an air of flamboyance. But not today, kneeling in front of it and sifting through my Johnsons trying to avoid the overworked ones, especially the gym johnson, long day Johnson, believe me its my instinct that guides. Finally after sheltering my boys with the CHOSEN ONE of the day, I fumigate myself with axe and step out of my apartment, all set to stink the world with my stench.

4 comments:

Sandeep M said...

okie..mate thas officially gross! Dint have to know abt ur preference of underwear or the lack thereof!!

Naren said...

Gross!!!! My experience have been portrayed like a knife through a banana, with ingredients of stealth and subtlety. If Dave Chapelle were to narrate the same, all you would be hearing is well nothing but the beeps in Comedy Central.

Sandeep M said...

Dei dubukku,
Wash panniya illiya?? Illana...u will be shipped to Yugoslavia...yenna okvaa?

Naren said...

Man
No time. What do you think only a square can have four sides?

 

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