Newton's fault.

Once in a while, the neurons in the troposhpere of my cranium go hayire. If this erratic connectivity has impressed upon your mind to imagine smoke puffing out of my aural chimney due to OVERUSE, I would like to turn off your wild imaginative horsepower and reveal for a fact, that my CPU doesn't come with a duo or quadra core processor. As a result, it crashes beyond the normal chores of eating and sleeping. Of late, in its dormant state, it has started spewing out weird hypothesis and the outcome of such wacky visions is why not there be nano version of humanoids.

Peering through the fog of bizarreness, a perceptive mind can harness the freedom from the shackles of Newton's laws of Mechanics. A member of Priory of Scion, hushing up the lineage of the royal blood - Newton, would have served the humanity better had he stopped, after unearthing the force of gravity. The moment he delineated the laws of mechanics governing macro objects, which in its current dimension does include the Homosapiens, the entire human race is plagued by inertia- a condition of the body to exist in its current condition unless propelled by an external force to change its course.

A pinch of salt attitude towards this malignant condition has done more harm than good. Of grave concern is my perpetual state of laziness - a stable condition fuelled by inertia, has joined me in holy matrimony for the rest of my life. With the prenuptial agreement of "daily chores of work" as the alimony, I feel its wise to vamoose away and enter the "nano" paradigm where quantum world overthrows the Newton mechanics. Until my vision materializes, I need Tank of THE MATRIX fame, to load programs and FREE MY MIND from inertia.

Stripped to the bone

The cog propels the shaft and at a preordained space time, the springs recoil to hit the hammer and the law of conservation of energy takes it from there to convert it to sound waves, knocking on my ear drums. After waking all the books, knocking down the midnight teacup, my arm silenced the chattering alarm clock. As though my RAM has been formatted for the day, I sit up and wonder what day it is and what’s happening. Though this comatose state is a fleeting one, in the order of nanoseconds, it’s more blissful than the sudden deluge of pumping adrenaline, at the thought of OB (Open Book) for the S-Bone course (Stripped to the Bone).

The allure and the complexity of the subject were more enticing than the warnings of my bruised seniors that I decided to take a plunge and test the waters. The first few classes were so mundane, that I skipped it for more sleep. Though refreshing to see the professor after 1 week, it was quite puzzling to note that there was only 5 left of the 25 who signed up for this particular course. It seems that our grades for the first 15 days were out, with class topper at C. The prof’s “Do I know you” look gave way to warm smile as he handed me my grade of C- along with a spot quiz. Gone past my last day for dropping my courses, I realized that I am in for a big surprise this semester.

What followed then were a bunch of assignments, projects, group work, class lectures, which made no sense to anyone in the class. Especially during the class lectures, we used to take comfort in each other’s resentment, reluctance and fear writ all over our face, while cursing the crooks who delineated the tensor calculus, the statistical analysis, etc. Special mention has to be made of a SINGLE QUESTION, open –book, mid-term exam running for 5 pages that we all handed back without answering, for want of more time to understand the question.

Yet to open an account in this course, here we are trying to salvage some pride in this “multiple choice” open-book exam. Pretty glad that I read the statutory warning of my prof in the front sheet which goes as “ Look to your left and to your right, one among the three will fail this course” – adapted from THE PAPER CHASE movie. I lay cooped up in the corner with no one near me, tossing the penny up in the air ……

Absently minded

Betrayed by alarm clock

Stalled by restroom queue

Sweetened by Pepsodent

Trimmed by Gillette

Purged in Pears

Garbed in Nautica

Sedated by caffeine

Informed by BBC

Nourished by Kelloggs

Cuddled by the icy wind

Glared by the streaky sun

Tripped by the slippery frost

Delayed by 20 minutes

Losing to the speeding bus

Racing on the pedestrian tracks

Honked by the irate ‘Ferrari’er

Staved off by the suspended lift

Ascending a flight of steps

Gasping for breath

I stand in the classroom late by 30 minutes, looking like a fool,on a Sunday morning.

Exiting the Department

Spotting a blondie........

Naren's Law

Totally devoid of creativity, in an attempt to keep the spiders away in my blog, I have tried to mimick Murphy's Law.

* You will always find a XXL of your desired color and design

* You can assume that the battery is low when you are on time.

* The needed book/page will always be missing in the library/book.

* The computer is programmed to go off at 99% downloading progress.

* The 24x24 film captures everything but the moment.

* The last ticket to the flick walks out before you.

* There is always one to slander your favorite actress.

* You will never find anyone to chat when you are lonely.

* The best part of the film will always be missing in a downloaded movie.

* There is always one to pull your leg in a get-together.

* You will press the accelerator for a brake while learning to drive.

Illusionaly Disillusioned

Confined by the precincts of its existence, perched on the saddle of the evening breeze, it sways and waltzes, gleaming in the strokes of sun. Suddenly betrayed by the flirty breeze, it hurtles down, crashing on the spiky grass, succumbing to the call of mortality.When the little kid, who was trying to get hold of it, opens up his closed fist, all he finds is the vestiges of a carefree, uninhibited soap bubble.

Moving from the ashes of the bubble to the realms of the human nature, its quite startling to see how the mind perceives things which it believes or rather, which it wants to believe. Nothing wrong with believing things, for with belief springs hope; hope propels action and action engenders the fruits of our sweat. Problem arises with the mind “wanting” to believe, which for most of the time begets false hope, rearing futile actions leading to salty sweat. If mind and heart be addressed as two discrete entities toying with the human will, then “wanting to believe” syndrome is an outgrowth of the overpowering heart over the subdued mind. But the omniscient mind is assured of the last laugh.

This state of mind clouded with want, floats as an Illusion bubble only to be pierced by the arrow of reality. Illusion, though evanescent, might leave an indelible mark, if we sometimes fail to see, that the cup is half empty.

This piece of writing was borne out of the boredom of two grad students who set out on penning with the theme “evanescent”, who are in thirst of adventure and relief from the grind of groundhog days.

Multiple Loginoema

Disclaimer: The author of this blog does not attest to any of the findings reported here, which has come out of his normal musings and faithfully pledges to complete insanity and sobriety.

Currently, National Destitute of Health (NDH), during a press conference, were inundated with questions, regarding their recent findings in the “Journal of Degenerative Diseases” . The authors of the paper, along with the grad student from the University of Mailissippii, revealed that the findings were based on their real-time studies, hence precludes any margin of errors that might undermine their research and career.

Their findings reveal a new kind of disorder, which they call it, Multiple “Login”oema (ML). People with ML are diagnosed to have a wide variety of symptoms: boredom, restlessness, insecurity, anxiety, hallucinations of world thinking about them, which creates an insane urge in them to check their emails. Once every 1 hour, by current standards of Login Counter, which works on the principle of Geiger Muller Counter, are termed normal, but when the situation deteriorates, where the login rate is once every 300 heart beats, which is detected using an electromailogram (EMG), then the patients develop, what the medical fraternity call it hyper loginoema -a chronic situation.

Though pharmaceuticals like, Walkbaxy, Pmiser, Cow Pharma, Lovertis, Richkid in U.S. are striving to counteract this disorder, their pill remains to be elusive, as their results are based on Computer simulated studies. U.K., which has lifted the ban on testing on our predecessor, might have come up with a solution, if not for the computer illiterate monkeys. So training these monkeys have been outsourced to India and China, and companies like Monkeysys and MCS (Monkey Consulting Services) have benefited a lot, evident from their second quarter results. Until the scientists find a cure, the doctors only reply to the kins of the hyper loginoema patients is TIG (Trust in God).

F -

Cobwebs in my blog – Words failed me.

Actor Surya getting married – Jyothika failed me.

Snail pace of my research – Science failed me.

Lack of inspiration – Nature failed me.

Depleting imagination – Creativity failed me.

My Running nose – Immune system failed me.

Landed spat on facing ground – Grass failed me.

Living like an island – Orkut failed me.

Reminiscing my past – Present failed me.

So bad that have I have allowed so many things to fail me, for which I am responsible for, hence I fail myself.